Thinking running

To again steal from Apocalypse Now...

When I am sitting, I am thinking of running.
When I am running, I am thinking of sitting.

So many times I find myself on the metro or at a plaza or in class and all I can think about if how much I want to run. I find the daydreams to be so powerful that I feel my heart rate increase. Even when I have already done my run for the day, I still want to go again. Double. Double when I know it's a horrible idea. But the desire is there. The only time the desire is sated is when I have done a long run. After 18 or more kms I don't want to do anything but rest the day away.

Furthermore, there are times when someone runs past me and I find myself feeling lazy. It doesn't matter that I've already run 6 km at 6am or run down a 12 km PR. My face, I've been told, contorts into a grimace of jealous and hatred. Not a pretty sight I think. Especially when it has bases in fact. I don't need to be jealous of that guy or girl nor do I need to feel anger towards them. I've don't my kms and need to "run my race."

But it doesn't change the fact that somewhere inside me is the need to keep running even when it's done and that need causes me to feel negativity towards that are doing it.

It's weird. But true.

Something particular I think to my personality, as I have never heard another runner speak to this state of mind.

So another obstacle to over come. A emotional hurdle to avoid. I need to relax. Let my workout be my workout. Let his/her workout be theirs.

So sometimes my thinking is negative and sometimes it is positive, and sometimes it is obsessive.

And I use all of it to make me a better runner.




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