Why long distance running? Part one

Starting a multi-entry examination of why long distance running appeals to me.

First reason, I would call the spiral of strength and weakness. The further I go on run, the stronger I feel. But then the weaker I know I am when I consider the distance covered. So I redouble my efforts both physical and mental, and seek more a bit more distance. And this distance feeds my sense of weakness on reflection. Thus, the spiral twists again. And again.

This conscious or unconscious quirk in my psyche is a two-edged sword. It can propel me to greater distances and strength. But it also can push me beyond the limit of physical and mental condition. I've been injured because I feel compelled to push on and cover the distance. This comes from a lack of rest days and an inner voice siting my weakness. When balanced, this spiraling drive can work wonders: loss of weight, improved health, etc in a short amount of time. But when unbalanced, I run injured, fatigued, distracted. And the machine breaks down.

At the moment, I am 41 and balanced. I take presently 2 rest days (though I know myself and those won't last). I am running a triple+ daily distance run on Saturdays. Following up with a leisurely 6 km hill run on Sundays. My weakness pushes me to get up at 5.30am to run 4.5 km. My strength allows me to run 20+ km on Saturday.

As I have said, today I am balanced. Tomorrow is the challenge. Will I rest or will I run? Will I be strong enough to take a day off? Or so weak that I must hit the road? When I was younger I didn't need to ask those questions so often or so loudly. Today, I must pose them every day, sometimes twice thrice a day. It has become part of the mental toughness that gets me through the physical despair of a long run. A toughness that allows me to say no to a run.

So my first reason that I run long distance is my alternating voices of weakness and strength. My good and bad angels. When they are in harmony, all is right with the world. And I improve a bit every day. Bit by bit.


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